Chocolate covered what?!...

So last week was full of firsts for me. First time in Des Moines, IA and in Chicago, IL. First time seeing a lightning bug. First time staying in my own hotel room and incidentallly in a king sized bed all to myself (which I have to say though is unfortunately somewhat overrated when you don't move at all during the night and you have this weird paranoia that requires you to sleep on the farthest side of the bed from the door instead of sprawling out in the middle of the bed...I really need to stop watching television...). First time going to a state fair. And yes, you guessed it, the first time I have ever eaten chocolate covered bacon on a stick. I know what you're thinking. Gross. Trust me, until you have tried it, you don't know what gross means.

Whoever said that putting two favorite things together to make something even better should really learn that it's not appropriate to proliferate theoretic ideas that may ultimately prove the doom of tastebuds and stomach stability alike for thousands of unsuspecting citizens. Alright fine, I'll give you that I was not so "unsuspecting," but that doesn't change the fact that the man should be trampled. Or at the very least kicked rather sternly in the shin. No but seriously, I'd take eating Boa Constrictor or even Chuno over that again any day of the week. Maybe even edamame...though that's a close call.

All in all though, I would definitely say the Iowa State Fair was the highlight of my trip. As far as fairs go it was magnificent (sure I don't really have anything to compare it to, but that's wholly and completely beside the point). I fully intend to attend the AZ State Fair this year though I have been told by quite a few that it will most definitely be quite the let down after the fair joys that I have already experienced. For your viewing pleasure, I have selected a few pictures to illustrate the untouchable awesomeness that is the Iowa State Fair:

Directly to your right is the world's largest sow (I know what you're thinking and let me be the first to say in my best Stephanie Tanner impersonation, "How rude!"). OK, well maybe not the world's biggest but at least Iowa's. OK, well at least the biggest one that was entered into the contest. Just trust me, it was large. Next year they will be able to make a ton of chocolate covered bacon with this baby.



And now to our left we have the winner of the State Fair's largest bull contest. Let's just say that I would not ever want to be caught with this guy in a dark alley or in a well lit field...

Directly below us we have me hugging the "not-the-biggest-pumpkin-at-the-Iowa-State-Fair-but-the-roundest-and-most-orange-looking-one-they-had" pumpkin. No that wasn't really posted on a sign anywhere...though I wish it had been. It's true title is "Fifth Place." I think my title is better. Personal opinion. Whatever.


And now for the moment you have all been waiting for...whether that be subconsciously or not...the picture that will more than likely change the way you look at the world...or at least butter...I present to you, the Iowa State Fair Butter Cow! That's right my friends, this beauty of a photo you now see to the bottom right is a picture of me (the only person in the photo hopefully not to be confused with the large mass of cow-shaped butter in the back) with (though I run the risk of sounding redundant) a large mass of cow-shaped butter. You may now all gasp with pleasure and great astonishment. I'll wait. Now I have been asked, on more than one occasion I might add, if I had a nearly irresitible desire to rush the butter cow with a stalk of sweet corn. And the answer of course is yes. However, my wild rushing would have only served to give me a fairly sizeable bruise more than likely on the noggin due to our beloved butter cow's state-of-the-art, nearly impenetrable security system. I think they call it glass. So most woefully I was unable to reach out and caress the cow that was made of butter though I am quite certain I heard it mooing in sadness for lack of human contact. But I suppose the Iowa State Fair people take their cows made of butter seriously. Something about some crazy fear they got into their heads about some random lunatic wanting to "rush" the butter cow with a stalk of sweet corn...I mean it's already sweet, why would you need butter.....whatever....

All in all a successful first outing to the fair. Though pictures were not taken I also indulged in pork chop on a stick, pineapple on a stick (my personal favorite) and old fashioned homemade rootbeer (which in fact was neither old nor homemade but the stage name sure did make me feel better about the drinking of said beverage). I didn't get to any of the rides, but perhaps next time. In the meantime I'm making plans for next year's trip. Perhaps I could be a carnie next year and come up with something good...chocolate covered boa constrictor on a stick anyone? Come on, its gotta be better.

To The Buckets!!

So last year we formed a band...we were really awesome...you probably didn't hear about us...so your loss. :) So let me introduce you to the band and the groupies. First we have Barb--she's our creative genius. She even wrote us a few songs--"Buton Poshin" and "A Little Bit Better Than You" and the ever popular "Living on De Nile." Then we have Samantha a.k.a. Candy. She's our lead singer and closet million (she supposedly created the rocket and sold it to NASA--whatever). Then we have Mickey. He's our drummer (and when we say drummer, we mean he plays a mean keyboard in the drumming mode). We call him the synth-drummer. And then there's me--the player of the under-respected though soon to be ever-popular nose flute. Yes people, you heard me right. The nose flute. If you've not yet been introduced to the glory that is the nose flute, boy are you missing out.

Then we have our illustrious groupies--without whom we would be nothing. Brecki Coriandor (also shown as Rebecka--though her name is Rebecca...don't ask...faulty photoshopping...) She's our posse reporter. She covers us and only us. And boy does she do it well. Finally, to our manager Melissa. We may not understand what she's saying all the time (she's Australian you know--with a slight British accent...) but we know she will never lead us astray. As long as we keep paying her.

PS. Save the turtles!

The Holy Buckets!

Finished!

I was wrong... It was so good! I was right...but I was wrong. :) Hee hee! Enjoy!!!!

The Countdown is Almost Over!!

The moment we have all been waiting so desperately for is nearly here!! We are literally down to hours my fellow lovers of Twilight! (Check out the countdown!) Will Bella and Edward live happily ever after or will Jacob steal our heroine away? (He better not or I will so be flaming marshmellowing Stephenie's house!) Will Edward turn Bella into a vampire? Intriguing. Here are my random and semi-unfounded (though I think not uneducated) guesses.

1. Bella and Edward will live happily ever after--mostly because I'm certain Stephenie fears the wrath of the flaming marshmellow...

2. Jacob will find the cure for vampirism. Maybe tricky, but let's be honest, Bella is never gonna be able to hold on to Edward if he remains a vampire and if she becomes one (and stays one I might stress because it would be most interesting to see this happen if you ask me and I think Meyers would be missing out on a very intriguing story arc if she didn't go this route) she can't stay one--it would be a bittersweet ending (which I am so not pro), would not answer the question of whether or not a vampire actually has a soul, and she would be losing everything that made Bella, well Bella. Plus, we have to fix the relationship between Bella and Jacob which I don't really see happening if she's all vampirey. Will Jacob give his life in this quest? I don't think so, but I do believe it will be taxing (again with my anti-bittersweet endings sentiment--maybe Jacob's not my favorite man, but I don't desire his demise).

3. Hunch number 3? Bella's blood has something to do with the cure. All I have to say is Immunity people!

4. Let's just enjoy the name of the book for a second shall we. Breaking Dawn. The whole series has really just been moving us through a night. From Twilight to New Moon to Eclipse and then Breaking Dawn. Literarily speaking, we're all about LIGHT now. Light, the source of truth and knowledge and goodness and purity. We're moving into a new age of hope for our beloved characters.

So all in all, I'm excited and I will so be at Walmart tonight at Midnight! I may or may not be sleeping tonight...

The UK

Below is the first of many slideshows to grace this page. About a month ago I spent 2 weeks in the UK with my friend Samantha Taylor. We went all over the place! I'm still recovering. :) This slideshow is all of Dover. We visited Dover Castle and wandered through the medieval and wartime tunnels (which of course was awesome). We walked down to the English Channel and got our fingers wet! We hiked the White Cliffs of Dover and in some of the pictures from on top you can actually see France! (Don't worry if you can't see it though, we spent a day in Paris which I will load soon enough.) So cool. So yes, we enjoyed our time there. More fun to come!

Dover, UK